Back when I was a teenager before I knew Christ, I would never have imagined my life to be this beautiful. I've always thought that I would be miserably lonely and depressed, wishing for death every second. Being happy even when I spend big portions of my day alone at home was simply impossible back then. Being able to rejoice in spite of difficulties was totally beyond me. Being at peace even though there are many frightening changes in my life was equally unimaginable.
Within the year 2007, there were so many tremendous changes. I left my church which I have been attending since I believed in Christ a decade ago and joined my husband in his church, leaving behind a wonderful choir ministry and old friends. I became the owner of my very own 3-rm flat, got married and a month later got pregnant. Now, after months of roller-coaster physical metamorphosis due to the growing miracle of God in my womb, I'm resigning from Youth for Christ where I extremely enjoyed the work of evangelism through using the gifts that God has endowed me with, leaving behind co-workers and friends whom I've come to cherish and love. All these parting pains to answer the call of God to be a full-time home-maker and provide godly care for my child who is to come.
I am reminded of the Bible passage in Matthew 8:23-26 when the disciples were panicking in the raging storm while Jesus was sleeping soundly in the very same boat. I do not want to be a woman of little faith and therefore I cling on tightly to God amidst the drastic changes and take comfort in His constant presence. Pregnancy had been tough for me: hospitalized twice, staying at home for two months alone coping with the severe nausea, frequent fainting spells, enduring a strict diet of crackers and Ovaltine. It is simply amazing the joy that I had in the Lord during those quiet moments spent with my loving heavenly Father.
Oh, and to suffer the sadness of having one of my two best friends gone to Australia to pursue her dream, destiny and desires during the time where I would greatly appreciate her physical presence. Though I'm truly happy for her and wish her all the best in her endeavors and new found love life after so many years of waiting upon the Lord, there is no day that has gone by without my missing her so much. And now I'm facing the pending separation from my other best friend as she contemplates going to the States to find a fresh start in life. Wishing the best for her, I pray that she'll be able to do so soon, even as I begin to grieve yet another loss...
Indeed, there are great many challenges ahead for me. I need to devote much prayers and energies to adjust to the life of a homemaker. I need to continue to strive to establish my own friendships and ministry in my new church. I have to forge new relationships with other Christian young mothers and homemakers so that I can grow in my godliness as a wife and mother with their support.
It is all so scary when I see the enormous task ahead of me. But my fears are quelled when I see how much greater my God is.