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Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Butterflies in my stomach

Tomorrow is my confinement lady's last day with me. After which, I will have to be alone at home with the baby plus manage the household chores and the cooking. I've always enjoyed the latter but seeing how my baby fusses despite all efforts to pacify him makes me nervous about being alone with him. Will I be able to cope? Will I chicken out of being a full-time homemaker? Will I keep my sanity? What if I forget to switch off the stove and burn down the house or worse, accidentally harm my baby? Will I lose my temper at him? I have seen some of my friends do the stay-home mum thingy successfully but aren't I less capable than them? All such thoughts rage through my mind. Dear God, help!

I have to keep reminding myself that God is with me and He will empower me to do the impossible. It is now my ministry to bring up Joash and manage the house well. This is what God has called me to and it is also what I've always dreamed of doing. I look forward to this testing of myself and see how I fare making this dream a reality. Please pray for me. Thank you so much! :)

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