I was reading this blog at baby center about how some mothers feel guilty that they have very easy babies (sleep through the night easily, very smiley, eat well etc...) and their friends who have fussy babies would be sooooo jealous. They even feel compelled to lie so that their rest-deprived friends wouldn't hate them for it. Some mothers, on the other hand, commented that they brag about their easy babies and feel that they have earned it and will give advice to those mothers whose children are not as wonderful.
I personally have experienced both pride and envy. I had such a tough pregnancy that I feel so ridiculously jealous when I see other pregnant women who breeze through the process. I have both friends whose babies sleep through the night earlier than my son and friends whose babies refuse to sleep through the night till they're rather old. I have a very sociable baby and I often hear other mothers rave to me enviously about how blessed I am to have such an easy baby as he doesn't fuss in public. All I can say to such people is, "Yes, I'm blessed and thank God for that." without bothering to share about the fussiness I have to endure behind the scene. They wouldn't hear any of it anyway. I also have tons of unsolicited contradicting advice about raising children from all sorts of people and it irritates me to no end that they tout their methods as if they were gospel truths. I'm doubly angry at the audacity of those mothers who weren't even their children's main caregiver!
The journey of motherhood is indeed fraught with treacherous emotional and behaviorial traps. How should one respond to the entire spectrum of responses about your baby from other people? Is there even a best way to deal with the unfair judgements or the insane jealousy of others?
Since I know that God has created us and our babies differently, I have concluded that there is no such thing as "should" in parenting. Instead, "whatever works" seems more like it. A method that works for one may not work for another. A child that is great at one area may not do well in others. We must not brag about any of our child's accomplishments as we are not our children's maker (though we are to be good stewards of them). We should not feel unduly guilty if despite our best efforts, the kids just doesn't perform. We must extend sympathy to those mothers who have it tough and be happy for those who have it easy. Only God is the perfect parent.
That said, much to my chagrin, I have given my share of unwanted advice and exclamations of covetousness. It is just so tempting to boast about the good things in my child, take credit for them and lord it over those less fortunate. It is equally difficult to maintain a calm demeanor when others question or criticize my parenting skills unfairly. I can only depend on God to guide me along the way. May God help me to stay true to my belief and react appropriately to other parents!
I personally have experienced both pride and envy. I had such a tough pregnancy that I feel so ridiculously jealous when I see other pregnant women who breeze through the process. I have both friends whose babies sleep through the night earlier than my son and friends whose babies refuse to sleep through the night till they're rather old. I have a very sociable baby and I often hear other mothers rave to me enviously about how blessed I am to have such an easy baby as he doesn't fuss in public. All I can say to such people is, "Yes, I'm blessed and thank God for that." without bothering to share about the fussiness I have to endure behind the scene. They wouldn't hear any of it anyway. I also have tons of unsolicited contradicting advice about raising children from all sorts of people and it irritates me to no end that they tout their methods as if they were gospel truths. I'm doubly angry at the audacity of those mothers who weren't even their children's main caregiver!
The journey of motherhood is indeed fraught with treacherous emotional and behaviorial traps. How should one respond to the entire spectrum of responses about your baby from other people? Is there even a best way to deal with the unfair judgements or the insane jealousy of others?
Since I know that God has created us and our babies differently, I have concluded that there is no such thing as "should" in parenting. Instead, "whatever works" seems more like it. A method that works for one may not work for another. A child that is great at one area may not do well in others. We must not brag about any of our child's accomplishments as we are not our children's maker (though we are to be good stewards of them). We should not feel unduly guilty if despite our best efforts, the kids just doesn't perform. We must extend sympathy to those mothers who have it tough and be happy for those who have it easy. Only God is the perfect parent.
That said, much to my chagrin, I have given my share of unwanted advice and exclamations of covetousness. It is just so tempting to boast about the good things in my child, take credit for them and lord it over those less fortunate. It is equally difficult to maintain a calm demeanor when others question or criticize my parenting skills unfairly. I can only depend on God to guide me along the way. May God help me to stay true to my belief and react appropriately to other parents!
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