The Unseen Hand

Honestly, I have been feeling down lately. My husband and I have never been so exhausted before in our lives. I spent many nights wrestling with God, wondering how to pull through each day. Somehow, I was reminded of this song which I sang for my previous church's Christmas album. Back then, as I was standing in the recording studio, the song was simply a song. At that time, my life was at its best. 

I was working in my dream career at a Christian organisation. I went on mission trips, led bible studies, was put in charge of big evangelistic events and was actively and overtly touching the lives of many, tangibly advancing the kingdom of God. I had a thriving ministry in my ex-church. I was very appreciated by the music director and my fellow church-mates and was given the privilege to sing solo at a combined church convention during Easter. My two best friends were still in Singapore and I had so much fun staying together with one of them. I was engaged to the love of my life and I was looking forward to a beautiful wedding and a new home. Life was not stress/trouble-free but I felt significant.

Now, I'm a nobody in church. I am cooped up mostly at home with four little ones to care for. My days are mundane, tedious and more tiring than I ever thought possible. I often feel like a stark raving lunatic, rushing the near impossible routine and trying not to lose my cool with my dear young ones who are hardly able to appreciate what I do for them at the expense of my health. My existence is almost anonymous. Nobody sees my work. Nobody... except God. 

I didn't know what "weary world of woe" meant. I know that now. I'm never really sure if what I'm doing with the children is right because there is no blueprint to follow, no appraisals to affirm me and no visible fruits to see. I truly have no idea if all the sweat, blood and tears I pour into the lives of my children on a daily basis will have any positive impact. After all, I know of many people who, although have good Christian upbringing, still go astray and reject God.

I depend more than ever the leading of the Holy Spirit. Without God, I'll be literally walking blind. I can only look forward to that "some sweet day" when I will see "my Savior's face" and hear Him say, "Well done, my good and faithful servant."

The Unseen Hand 

Marty Stuart

Written by A. J. Simms

There's an unseen hand to me

That leads through ways, I cannot see

While going through, this world of woe

This hand still leads, me as I go

I'm trusting to, the unseen hand

That guides me through, this weary land

And some sweet day, I'll reach that strand

Still guided by, the unseen hand

I long to see, my Savior's face

And sing the story, of his grace

And there upon, that golden strand

I'll praise him for, his guiding hand

I'm trusting to, the unseen hand

That guides me through, this weary land

And some sweet day, I'll reach that strand

Still guided by, the unseen hand

Still guided by, the unseen hand

Pulling to stand

He finally did it at 1 year old! *applause* Due to his size, Joram is much slower at reaching his gross motor skills milestones. It makes me a little sad that, for the first time, I was the last in the family to witness this milestone since I was working a hectic routine despite nursing a fever this week. I overheard the children squealing in delight, "弟弟 is standing up!!!" while I was in the middle of cooking. By the time I finished, Joram was not interested in doing a repeat telecast.

All back to their own games
when I eventually joined them

My husband witnessed it before I did because he took some time off from work to let me rest in bed when it happened. *pout* I'm proud of my boy, nonetheless. *grin*

Waiting

Kid A and B were playing together. Kid A refused to give kid B's book back and he decided to complain to me. I told him that kid A was being unreasonable and told kid B to ignore him and wait 5 min while I finish blending porridge for the youngest. Instead of obeying me, he decided to take things into his own hands and snatched the book back. The two got into a fight and both sustained injury. (I'm using the generic 'he' here)

The whole unhappy episode would not have happened if kid B were to wait upon my intervention. Even though he was in the right and had suffered an injustice, he could have protected himself from harm if he were to be patient and trust that I would do what's right by him. 

This incident reminds me of the value in waiting upon the Lord. No matter how much I am misjudged, victimised or taken advantaged of, I should obey when God says "Vengeance is mine." I need to be patient and see how God's plan plays out. If not, I might get myself hurt even more in the end. It's good to wait. It shows our trust in the love and character of our heavenly Father.

This story had a happy ending. After much tears, teaching and praying, the siblings apologised to each other and embraced in reconciliation. It is moments like this that makes my home-making journey worthwhile.

Joram's First Birthday

My littlest one is one year old! He is such a wonderfully happy baby despite his reflux and eczema problems. He is indeed a miracle baby! But baby, he is, no more as we wave goodbye to the first year of his life. To celebrate, we brought the kids to Kiddy Fun at Turf City Grandstand because it seems to cater more to the younger kids. I'm glad of the choice because it was very suitable for Joram to utterly enjoy himself.

Family Shot

They have this Jumperoo-like thing which reminds me of the toy I rented for Joash when he was a baby. Although Joram was sufficiently intrigued by the contraption, he could not really jump as well as Joash back then. (Click HERE to watch the previous post.)

Eh... How does this thing work?

Let 大姐 help you out...

Crazy jumping in the bouncy room

They naturally gravitated to their
fav-coloured steering wheel

This see-saw can fit all of them just nice!

Playing "Poison Balloons'"

Happy watching his siblings play

Moving Swings

Congregation IN the pool???

Favourite toy: Balls

Favourite activity: Chasing after
balls in the "underground" maze

Sisters at the dressing tables

Turning the propellers

After two hours of major fun, we headed down to the Treehouse Cafe for lunch. Instead of ordering cake to celebrate Joram's birthday as per normal, I decided to get him vanilla ice-cream instead. Due to his reflux, he has yet to stomach anything with less than super smooth texture. He gagged even when I fed him baby biscuits or bread. Plus, he still has no teeth. Thankfully, he enjoyed the ice-cream very much while his siblings finished up the brownie for him. 

Joram: "What are you doing
behind me, Mummy?"

A video of Joram enjoying his first taste of ice-cream.

Sweet drinks for the older two
(Shhh... Don't let the
younger ones know.)

The best thing about the cafe is that they have a very extensive play area for the kids. We hung out there for nearly one and a half hours after our lunch! Joram was contented with playing around on the small play mat throughout the time. What an angel! May he continue to exalt God in his heart and behaviour for the rest of his life!

Wow! I can bang
these together!

Having loads of fun

The back view full of stripes...
That's all folks!

My Little Pony

Mine - RARITY
Jayna's - PINKIE PIE
Jaide's - FLUTTERSHY

I loved the cartoon "My Little Pony" when I was young and was delighted with the gift of a flutter pony named Lily from my Mum as a reward for outstanding academic results. 

Recently, I realised that they are starting to sell pony plushies and I simply couldn't resist getting them for my girls and I. I also bought hair accessories and introduced them to the joy of playing hairstylist with the ponies. 

However, they are too young to have the dexterity to successfully use the clips and tie the rubber-bands, though Jayna could do that a little if she tried hard enough. I had to help them accessorise the ponies. Little did I realise that my girls have very different fashion sense from mine. I gasped when they wanted to put ALL the accessories in the manes and tails. *sweat* LOL Still, I did exactly as they dictated. 

It was really fun and nostalgic playing such girlie games with them while Joash went off happily playing with his new planes and Joram romped after the sparkling balls. Despite all my complaints about the girls being so difficult to raise, I'm ultimately still really glad that God had decided to give them to me. *grin*

Jayna's design

Jaide's design

This was Joram's reaction to my pony. Hahaha... He seemed a little cautious around it.

First Encounter

Joram: "Mummy, what's that?"

Running away from it...

Trying to skirt around it...

Curiosity got the better of him.

Eventually...

Joram: "Let me crawl alongside you!"

"Weight-lifting"

There is one exercise that all parents do: weight-lifting! LOL The first picture was taken when Jayna was almost one and the second was taken recently with Joram coming to one year of age too! Just for the fun of it... Heh heh.

Carrying Jayna and Joash

Carrying Jaide and Joram