The Unseen Hand

Honestly, I have been feeling down lately. My husband and I have never been so exhausted before in our lives. I spent many nights wrestling with God, wondering how to pull through each day. Somehow, I was reminded of this song which I sang for my previous church's Christmas album. Back then, as I was standing in the recording studio, the song was simply a song. At that time, my life was at its best. 

I was working in my dream career at a Christian organisation. I went on mission trips, led bible studies, was put in charge of big evangelistic events and was actively and overtly touching the lives of many, tangibly advancing the kingdom of God. I had a thriving ministry in my ex-church. I was very appreciated by the music director and my fellow church-mates and was given the privilege to sing solo at a combined church convention during Easter. My two best friends were still in Singapore and I had so much fun staying together with one of them. I was engaged to the love of my life and I was looking forward to a beautiful wedding and a new home. Life was not stress/trouble-free but I felt significant.

Now, I'm a nobody in church. I am cooped up mostly at home with four little ones to care for. My days are mundane, tedious and more tiring than I ever thought possible. I often feel like a stark raving lunatic, rushing the near impossible routine and trying not to lose my cool with my dear young ones who are hardly able to appreciate what I do for them at the expense of my health. My existence is almost anonymous. Nobody sees my work. Nobody... except God. 

I didn't know what "weary world of woe" meant. I know that now. I'm never really sure if what I'm doing with the children is right because there is no blueprint to follow, no appraisals to affirm me and no visible fruits to see. I truly have no idea if all the sweat, blood and tears I pour into the lives of my children on a daily basis will have any positive impact. After all, I know of many people who, although have good Christian upbringing, still go astray and reject God.

I depend more than ever the leading of the Holy Spirit. Without God, I'll be literally walking blind. I can only look forward to that "some sweet day" when I will see "my Savior's face" and hear Him say, "Well done, my good and faithful servant."

The Unseen Hand 

Marty Stuart

Written by A. J. Simms

There's an unseen hand to me

That leads through ways, I cannot see

While going through, this world of woe

This hand still leads, me as I go

I'm trusting to, the unseen hand

That guides me through, this weary land

And some sweet day, I'll reach that strand

Still guided by, the unseen hand

I long to see, my Savior's face

And sing the story, of his grace

And there upon, that golden strand

I'll praise him for, his guiding hand

I'm trusting to, the unseen hand

That guides me through, this weary land

And some sweet day, I'll reach that strand

Still guided by, the unseen hand

Still guided by, the unseen hand